Wait and win!!!

In this age of instant gratification, learning to accept delays and failures is a valuable life skill.

Prateek’s mobile was three years old. His friends had more recent models. So, he decided he needed a ‘better’ mobile. Many arguments later, the budget was sanctioned. With the first hurdle out of the way, Prateek got down to the task of zeroeing in on the right mobile and the best bargain with great zeal and vigour. The best deal on the model of his choice was online, but Prateek refused to consider it as its delivery would take up to six days. “Wait for it,” his father said. “After all, you have a mobile in hand.” But Prateek was not willing to wait. Later that evening, he zipped off on his motorbike to a distant showroom to buy the new mobile.

Prateek is just one of many young people who are hardwired for instant gratification. That is to say, when they want something, they have to have it RIGHT THEN. Delay in satisfaction would make them restless, frustrated, impatient and unable to focus on other work or participate in other activities.

Instant gratification feeds on communication technology and new age devices. Emails, chat messages, SMS and other forms of interaction invite and encourage immediate responses. Upload a selfie and you can expect dozens of likes in some minutes. How would you feel if there were not a single like on your new status update after an entire hour?

But just think about this: ten years back, most mobiles did not have access to the Internet. Fifteen years back, not many people had mobile phones. Twenty years back, the Internet was accessible mostly through a slow dial-up connection on a computer. Thirty years back, train ticketing was not computerised (leave alone networked) and people stood in long queues before railway counters. And if you wanted a phone connection you waited for years. Back then, the only thing you got in an instant was coffee. Even noodles came later. Instant gratification was a condition that only psychologists had heard of.

But technology has changed all that. It is natural for a generation that has grown up on a diet of broadband connections, smartphones and social media to expect instant gratification. However not everything happens as we desire or expect. Nor is our every desire fulfilled instantly.

Out there in the real world, things happen far slower than they do in the virtual world. The interplay of many factors — visible and invisible, predictable and unpredictable, some in our control and some not — determine whether we get what we want, and if so, when.

Machines break down. The weather changes the name of the game. People fall ill, shops close, vehicles need fixing, workers go on strikes, there are riots, governments collapse, horrible accidents happen, natural disasters cripple life, families fall apart and people misunderstand one another. How reasonable is it in the midst of all this and more to expect things to always happen exactly as one wishes for?

Friendships take ages to mature. Growth, change and finding solutions to problems are slow processes that need deep thinking, attention, care and nurturing, besides time, money and effort.

Disappointment stems from exaggerated expectations, and it tends to be more intense when we seek instant rewards. Chelsea took up rooftop gardening during the semester holidays and expected to see a lush garden in a flash. The lemon seeds did not germinate at all, the fenugreek sprouts wilted in five days, the hibiscus was invaded by aphids and other flowering plants did not flower. She gave up.

Shabnam searched online for information for a college assignment but was frustrated when she did not find it. All the journals she wanted were subscription-based. It did not strike her to check out her college library where physical copies of the journal were actually maintained. Looking for quick fixes may not only lead to failures and disappointments, it may also prevent one from seeking alternative solutions.

Reading up abstracts instead of reading up an entire paper, using powerpoint slides instead of taking classroom notes, getting helpless juniors to complete ‘boring’ records and assignments are quick fixes that may save time and effort and quickly meet your needs. But these are only shortchanging strategies that deprive you of the real knowledge and skills you will need in the long term. Seeking instant gratification, for the most part, leads to putting short-term gains above long-term ones.

Patience, perseverance, grit and determination help you overcome failures and move on. Knowing to cope with disappointment, obsessive interests, failures and frustration is an important emotional skill.

Learning to defer gratification and to accept delays and failures are valuable life skills. Recognising that real time moves at a different pace from virtual time is the first step to developing this skill. Plugging out of the Internet, switching off your devices and experiencing the rhythm and pace of time in the real world is a good second step. Do your bit and wait for things to happen. It may well reap you rich rewards in the future.

Keywords: soft skill development